I’ve always wanted to create a home of my own. I want to be free, free from people judging me, free from pleasing people around me, free from assumptions of thoughts towards my actions.
My actions are within my control, thus, I chose to live as it is than to change it. I chose to let others judge me, listening to critics and act as if it didn’t bother me at all. I chose to please people cause I know that’s how peace grows, tolerating and being patient. I chose to keep my thoughts within my head cause I don’t want to feel guilt for little blunter. I often remind myself to live as if tomorrow never comes. I want to change. I don’t want to be the rebellious old self of me.
But its always easier said than done. I can’t handle critics cause they suppress me. Like I’m trying to runaway from bullets targeted on me. Then I act like it didn’t bother me though I’m already bleeding. I feel suffocating when I can’t speak out my mind. I hate it when little things tick me off. By right, these things shouldn’t even come across my mind.
I want to feel free. But now,
I can’t fly cause I’m mending my wings.
I’m running in circles cause I’m building muscles getting ready to speed out once the circle breaks.
I’m mentally bracing for the worse, to have the strength and ability to stand upright out there.
And lastly, I’m waiting for God to open the door for me.
Then, I would spread my wings and fly as high as I could.
Leaving the sorrows behind & Living the joy endlessly.