Crappy Feelings

Tonight, What’s bothering me is him, my best friend. I wouldn’t say I’m his best friend, but we’re pretty close. I love being around him, spending time with him, hearing his stories, sharing opinions and just, staring at him sometimes. I’m one of those people who would cherish and would do anything for you once I feel comfortable around you, so yea, I would do whatever he ask me to. I would say this is like a love friendship, but not a relationship. I hate it when I get unknown news from others about him. Cause I tend to believe I’m always there right next to him. It bothers me so much that I have given him the ability to control my mood. If he’s nice to me today, today is the day of happiness and if he’s not, It’s just chaos. We are close to the extend that I could always figure out what’s in his mind before he actually speaks. But I’m that sidekick and he’s that beauty that everyone actually admires. I’m nobody, someone unnoticeable but he’s the stage’s limelight. We’re of two different worlds. At times, I wonder why would he even talk to me. I tried taking steps backwards but just one call from him would make me run back to him. He might have millions of people like me cherishing him but know that, I only have him. Reasons why I don’t walk away most of the time? Cause he makes me happy, even if I were need to scrub his shoes, I would be smiling. and He’s right when he told me, ‘The World Revolves Around Me’.

I wonder if I could just slap his face and tell him, Hey dude! WALK AWAY FROM ME. I would rather fall apart and live in loneliness than to let you grip on my feelings. I just can’t walk away if he didn’t cause I like him that much. Damn, I hate you.

But hey, I think I’m pretty good handling this. To not lose him, is to remain cool and calm as a friend. I’ve never once give him hints that I like him that much. Just some crazy tornado swirling in me all the time. 



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